Today is my youngest son’s birthday. Theo Joseph. He turns 2 today. I won’t say the usual cliches… but they are all true. 
What I’ve been thinking about today is how much I am absolutely, painfully, joyfully in love with Theo. I adore him. I could kiss him all day long. I could play with his curly hair every second. I could listen to him talk until the end of time. I. love. him.
I remember, vaguely, before Mike and I had kiddos that we were perfect parents. We knew how to handle everything. We were certain about how we felt about everything. We were never going to parent “like that” or “like them.” We would be different. Amazing. Naturals. But when you commit to having children, you are saying so many things to your partner without knowing what you’re really in for.
This is what Mike and I committed to without knowing it:
I will be there when all I really want to do is sleep.
I will learn to change diapers and not throw up.
I will learn how to cook, clean, run a business and fall in love with parenthood all at the same time.
I can have everything I want, just not at the same time.
I will never eat a full meal off of my own plate.
I will fall in love in a new dimension.
I will cry with joy, pure joy.
I will cry out of fear, paralyzing fear.
I will cry because I am so f-ing tired.
I will fall in love with my imperfections and yours.I will date you, once a month.
I will make mistakes and own them.
Parenthood has been the ultimate equalizer for me. I no longer have the energy to cultivate people who make me feel bad. I no longer have the desire to be liked by those who require too much work. I can get ready and out the door with all of us ready in 35 minutes, including a diaper change and forgetting a cup. I am more powerful than I ever knew. I love Mike more than I ever thought I had access to. I love my sons in a way that sometimes causes physical pain because it is so amazing. I am honored to be a part of this family. A family that Mike and I created.
So today, I am celebrating the birth of Theo. And quite honestly, I’m celebrating my birth too. My birth into motherhood.
Cheers to you,
Heidi
